Happy Memorial Day :)! A very fun weekend indeed as I was lucky enough to entertain my lovely friend San. She came into town Friday night and we had a blast living Chi-style being careful to only partake in local adventures at my favorite hot spots. In a nut shell we hit a dive chili/pizza locale where they serve the best blue margaritas in town. We hit up the "magnificent mile" briefly before soaking up the sun in one of the hottest roof-top bars in the city. We consumed many a home-made pear vodka treats before heading out for a night of salsa and dive bars in the Wicker Park area, returning home just in time to see the sunrise. And on the last day we did it right, drank Hot Chocolate, shopped at Joe's Jeans and Marc Jacobs (where San shamelessly flirted with the hot man over rainboots), enjoyed snow cones while walking the pier at the beach, suppered on a good ole Chicago-dog and ate some very fat free frozen yogurt at Red Mango. Mmm. Fun times.
San even met Danny and I was able to show my darling friend some crazy. Yep, as I said, Danny is a nut-job and he wonderfully proved this Sat night when he went all Jekyll with me at some late night dive. Don't worry kids, we were not in danger from Crazy. On the contrary, I am danger, as I found out. Now, I do not want to get into specifics of the drama, but I will summarize the events just so you have a little context.
Danny met us at Danny's. We then went to a second bar where San and I had some peach mystery cocktails (reminiscent of the peach cocktail from Dnktowner) served by Large Marge. And finally at the 3rd bar Danny lost his mind and got very angry at me for talking to another guy. No, no, no, do not mistake this anger for jealousy. You see, he felt that by talking to another guy (who by the way I had walked away from several times) he was possibly in danger of this other guy trying to start something with him. Ie, Danny did not want to get his %$# kicked over a girl he had known 2 weeks. Nice to know men want to "start shit" over me. As if.
Well, I did not like the way Danny reacted to all of this and I sure do not understand his reasoning. So, with that, we are over. As he puts it he cannot see me anymore because I am dangerous. Whatever. As I explained to him, he and I live in 2 different worlds. I live in a world where people are good and talking is just talking. He lives is a world where a simple hello can lead to gun fights and jail-time. Although he doesn't believe he has a choice in the matter, right or wrong, he is choosing to live in that world, and right or wrong, I choose to live in mine.
Danny is not a bad guy. Actually, he was horrified by how he acted in front of San and profusely apologized for it. (Her account of the passionate argument from the backseat of his car was that he was afraid these gangsters were going to come after him, and that I was mad and told him to never talk that way to me again (go me)). And by all means she felt this was one heated, emotional argument for two people who haven't even kissed with tongue. I really believe that his demons are too big and too complicated to understand. He has a lot of darkness and I would never be able to bring any light into his world...and to be honest, I wouldn't even want to try. C'est sa vie.
You are probably wiping your dripping brow glad to know I made it out safe and alive. I wish I felt that way. Instead I feel regret and a bit sad. Part of this is a reluctancy to concede defeat. I do not want to lose, I do not want Danny to not want to see me because once again it would feel like rejection. I want to be chosen...I want to be chosen for once in my life. CPA chose nothing (well video games and work) over me, Big chooses work over me, My Venezuelan chooses bachelor life over me, my stalker chose money over me, and now Danny chooses darkness and routine over me. I want to be worth someone giving up something to choose me. I am worth that, so why are these guys getting it wrong? So there is that aspect, but then there is also the fact that I liked Danny....
Danny has been the only man who has ever asked me truly personal, soul-searching questions that may have allowed me to release some of my demons. He wanted to know things about me, and while I did my best to avert and avoid these questions he did manage to get me to open up and answer to a few of them and I really appreciate that. I don't do vulnerable, but I did with him, and it was uncomfortable, but it was honest.
I feel sad, but I will get over it. Danny had no long term potential and as scared as I am of feeling alone, I guess my only choice is to continue choosing me.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
K.I.S.S.I.N.G.
Kissing. I like it. It is easily one of my favorite forms of expression...kissing can be playful, serious, suggestive, sexy, romantic, passionate, telling, fun, and a turn-on. This is good kissing. Bad kissing on the other hand can be awkward, disappointing, sloppy, also telling, lazy and ultimately a turn-off. Now, its not like I go around kissing everyone (I would like to at Marc Jacobs), but I have had my share of kissing, and I have to tell you, there is nothing worse than a bad kisser.
Case and point Sex and the City season 3ish where Charlotte dates the "perfect guy", except for one thing, he is a bad kisser...he saturated, and as she recalls it, "raped her mouth" she was unable to continue seeing him. Rashes will do that.
Now, why is kissing on my mind? Well, recently I started seeing Danny who I have been kissing...just kissing. And its good kissing, but new kissing. Here I thought I had had every kind of kiss possible...not at all my friends.
In my kissing history I have had a few different types of kissers. No judgement, this has been a purely anthropological kissing effort.
-It seems that the majority of men in their 20s are very good kissers. They evenly and gently kiss with tongue intermittently and not forcibly.
-The rest of those guys (possibly the nerdier ones--just an assumption), overuse the tongue and don't come up for air. Ew, I need to breathe. Very sloppy.
-Eastern EU's. Yep, with my limited experience, watch out for these guys...(or don't). Their accents are at least hot, and this may be why their tongues are so sharp. These guys are darty and fast, it reminds me of the jack-hammering form of kissing, and if tongues could bruise, they would.
-Older men...I'm talking late forties and up. Again, with what I assure you to be limited experience, I consider these guys to be similar to nerdy 20-somethings but not nearly as groping, they are wet with too much tongue kissers. Its like their prudish (x)wives never allow(ed) any tongue and therefore they need to make up for lost time. Stay away from these guys, money can't buy you good kissing.
-And last, the new species, 30-somethings. Not to divulge too much, but Danny is a no-tongue kisser. Like none. I almost feel perverted when my tongue makes contact (sorry TMI). These 30 somethings may not do a lot of tongue, but their kissing is not solely concentrated to the mouth...hello, I'm talking about the neck! As I said, my late night man is a bit of an Edward :).
Case and point Sex and the City season 3ish where Charlotte dates the "perfect guy", except for one thing, he is a bad kisser...he saturated, and as she recalls it, "raped her mouth" she was unable to continue seeing him. Rashes will do that.
Now, why is kissing on my mind? Well, recently I started seeing Danny who I have been kissing...just kissing. And its good kissing, but new kissing. Here I thought I had had every kind of kiss possible...not at all my friends.
In my kissing history I have had a few different types of kissers. No judgement, this has been a purely anthropological kissing effort.
-It seems that the majority of men in their 20s are very good kissers. They evenly and gently kiss with tongue intermittently and not forcibly.
-The rest of those guys (possibly the nerdier ones--just an assumption), overuse the tongue and don't come up for air. Ew, I need to breathe. Very sloppy.
-Eastern EU's. Yep, with my limited experience, watch out for these guys...(or don't). Their accents are at least hot, and this may be why their tongues are so sharp. These guys are darty and fast, it reminds me of the jack-hammering form of kissing, and if tongues could bruise, they would.
-Older men...I'm talking late forties and up. Again, with what I assure you to be limited experience, I consider these guys to be similar to nerdy 20-somethings but not nearly as groping, they are wet with too much tongue kissers. Its like their prudish (x)wives never allow(ed) any tongue and therefore they need to make up for lost time. Stay away from these guys, money can't buy you good kissing.
-And last, the new species, 30-somethings. Not to divulge too much, but Danny is a no-tongue kisser. Like none. I almost feel perverted when my tongue makes contact (sorry TMI). These 30 somethings may not do a lot of tongue, but their kissing is not solely concentrated to the mouth...hello, I'm talking about the neck! As I said, my late night man is a bit of an Edward :).
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Color my life in the chaos of trouble
Very glad to end the week. I have seriously had nightmares, about bras, all week long. Actually, about bras and bugs. Last Friday before I turned in for the night I spotted a dark spot near my door. I carefully crept forward and saw that it was a crazy long, billion-legged, predator. Once Creepy crawly saw me see him, he jumped off the wall, took cover behind the open closet door, and reappeared heading in my direction. As if! Creepy was planning on attacking me! I quickly had a panic attack, and then I pulled on my Marc Jacobs knee-length rainboots, and got out my swiffer sweeper. In what must have been a rush of adrenaline resulting from a fight or flight response, I let loose, and I crushed Creepy to a painful, yet swift death, pretty sure it was even a bit of over-death. After claiming victory, I scooped Creepy on the side of the swiffer and placed his remains in the hallway. RIP. I later googled Creepy and it seems that he was a centipede. I am sure he was the only one in Chicago and that the rest live in Phoenix or something.
Anyway, it has been a stressful week. I was looking forward to getting all pretty and enjoying a nice night spending time with a new friend Danny. This is not to happen. You see dear friends, I am like a restaurant, and somehow I experience a cancellation rate of 25-50% on average, and its a non-discriminatory cancellation policy, I accept both men and women, acquaintance to BFF, anybody can and does cancel on me with ironic regularity. Seeing that I never cancel ever, it seems that karma will catch up with me eventually, and when I get a life, be ready, because I am going to cancel like crazy.
Now as I was saying, Danny cancelled on me. "Brakes went out, haven't slept for 36 hours, blah, blah, blah". Excuses, excuses. To his credit, he felt really bad. Actually, to his further credit, while I patronizingly said it was fine, it didn't matter, and that I understood, he noted my icy tone and pressed on to share how I really felt. That gave me the opportunity to say that I was really annoyed, I think its shitty to cancel, and I am tired of being cancelled on. Yuck, I made myself slightly vulnerable! It sort of feels good to be forced to say what I really think, because I so seldom do. I have mastered not sharing how I feel, not professing what I want, and not talking about my past. Danny tries, and occasionally succeeds in pulling those private details out of me...incredible considering I have only went out with him once, and spoken to him on the phone a handful of times. I am not good at being vulnerable but sometimes I feel like I can with him. He said that to make it up to me he will do anything I can think of...specifically he will do anything everybody hates doing. Hmm, what oh what? (Um, can I ask him to buy me things or isn't that what he meant? jk!)
My Chi-friend thinks that I have a slightly dramatic flair...this may be true, but I think life is more colorful this way. :)
Anyway, it has been a stressful week. I was looking forward to getting all pretty and enjoying a nice night spending time with a new friend Danny. This is not to happen. You see dear friends, I am like a restaurant, and somehow I experience a cancellation rate of 25-50% on average, and its a non-discriminatory cancellation policy, I accept both men and women, acquaintance to BFF, anybody can and does cancel on me with ironic regularity. Seeing that I never cancel ever, it seems that karma will catch up with me eventually, and when I get a life, be ready, because I am going to cancel like crazy.
Now as I was saying, Danny cancelled on me. "Brakes went out, haven't slept for 36 hours, blah, blah, blah". Excuses, excuses. To his credit, he felt really bad. Actually, to his further credit, while I patronizingly said it was fine, it didn't matter, and that I understood, he noted my icy tone and pressed on to share how I really felt. That gave me the opportunity to say that I was really annoyed, I think its shitty to cancel, and I am tired of being cancelled on. Yuck, I made myself slightly vulnerable! It sort of feels good to be forced to say what I really think, because I so seldom do. I have mastered not sharing how I feel, not professing what I want, and not talking about my past. Danny tries, and occasionally succeeds in pulling those private details out of me...incredible considering I have only went out with him once, and spoken to him on the phone a handful of times. I am not good at being vulnerable but sometimes I feel like I can with him. He said that to make it up to me he will do anything I can think of...specifically he will do anything everybody hates doing. Hmm, what oh what? (Um, can I ask him to buy me things or isn't that what he meant? jk!)
My Chi-friend thinks that I have a slightly dramatic flair...this may be true, but I think life is more colorful this way. :)
Thursday, May 20, 2010
It's nice to be called
It has been one of those dramatic, icky weeks at work. Not entirely dramatic toward me particularly, but dramatic and disappointing in many ways. Not Grey's Anatomy dramatic where there is a gun man, but dramatic none-the-less. And that is all I will say.
Danny called me last night :). It's nice to be called. He called because his week is filling up with crazy, and he wants to firm up our plans for Saturday night. Good thing he called because his Saturday nights begin usually at 1:00am. He said he could be adaptable if needed, and if I preferred, we could move it to 12:00am. I think he was partially kidding, but still serious. I kindly said hell-to-the-no, and said I am a traditional girl (never thought I would say that) and that 9:00pm is my latest...anything later would be improper. I explained improper as in a later date would be the equivalent of a guy suggesting he come over so we can watch a movie. That received a laugh and he assured me that there were no improper intentions...(well I hope that's not entirely the case).
Danny is a vampire you see. He keeps mad hours usually going to bed at 8:00am and getting up at 2:00-3:00pm. Then he goes non-stop working, creating art, trading stock, building, gardening, driving, drinking, thinking, drinking, and more drinking. He claims he rarely eats, maybe once a day, and I guess if you feed on human blood, then eating isn't as much a priority. Fear not friends, I will be sure to wear a turtleneck.
Now,
Dear Gunman on Grey's, can you please go to Dr. Dreamy's office and open fire on that annoying farm girl? Thanks.
Danny called me last night :). It's nice to be called. He called because his week is filling up with crazy, and he wants to firm up our plans for Saturday night. Good thing he called because his Saturday nights begin usually at 1:00am. He said he could be adaptable if needed, and if I preferred, we could move it to 12:00am. I think he was partially kidding, but still serious. I kindly said hell-to-the-no, and said I am a traditional girl (never thought I would say that) and that 9:00pm is my latest...anything later would be improper. I explained improper as in a later date would be the equivalent of a guy suggesting he come over so we can watch a movie. That received a laugh and he assured me that there were no improper intentions...(well I hope that's not entirely the case).
Danny is a vampire you see. He keeps mad hours usually going to bed at 8:00am and getting up at 2:00-3:00pm. Then he goes non-stop working, creating art, trading stock, building, gardening, driving, drinking, thinking, drinking, and more drinking. He claims he rarely eats, maybe once a day, and I guess if you feed on human blood, then eating isn't as much a priority. Fear not friends, I will be sure to wear a turtleneck.
Now,
Dear Gunman on Grey's, can you please go to Dr. Dreamy's office and open fire on that annoying farm girl? Thanks.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Nod and smile :)
Just taking a look at a few of my posts and for goodness sakes, for a single Chi-girl I seem to have a lot of man-drama...too bad its all in my head.
So on to the new man in my life--my Monday date, we shall henceforth refer to him as Danny, since we met at "Danny's". So Danny and I went out on a very long date last night. He insisted on picking me up and then we headed to a dive bar (how very romantic) at 8:30. We started there and then ended up at a jazz bar where Al Capone used to frequent, and before you know it, I was walking into my apartment at 4:00am. Danny was well behaved, he opened car doors, paid, gave me many compliments, and did not put the moves on me at all, at least not until he dropped me off and asked for a goodnight kiss, which I granted. So overall it was a good date, we had a lot to talk about, I was very comfortable, and we enjoyed each others company. Now, before you get all excited I need to let you in on a small detail...he is totally insane.
Yep, he is insane, like really. I won't get into all of the details of his insanity because I don't want to scare you, but he is a very unique, interesting, opinionated kind of guy who firmly believes in certain truths such as the abstract: there is no truth, or feeling is not good, or belief is imagined, etc etc. I was having a hard time keeping up because although he is extremely articulate and intelligent, he talks a mile a minute (no he's not on drugs!) and his use of vocabulary requires either a dictionary or a nod and smile...I nodded and smiled, and occasionally rolled my eyes (which he found cute). So while I can probably say I don't agree with his philosophies on most things, I do appreciate that he at least thinks about things. And I do respect some of his other qualities like ambition, goals, direction, talent, and his taste in Me. And naturally, there are probably just as many qualities about him that I don't like...but again, I don't want to scare you :).
I think I generally have a pretty good read on people, and I think for the most part, he is probably a good guy with a lot of demons, and I think he kind of likes it that way. So as far as a future for Danny and I, it is unlikely.
Oh, and I forgot to mention, we're going out again on Saturday night!
So on to the new man in my life--my Monday date, we shall henceforth refer to him as Danny, since we met at "Danny's". So Danny and I went out on a very long date last night. He insisted on picking me up and then we headed to a dive bar (how very romantic) at 8:30. We started there and then ended up at a jazz bar where Al Capone used to frequent, and before you know it, I was walking into my apartment at 4:00am. Danny was well behaved, he opened car doors, paid, gave me many compliments, and did not put the moves on me at all, at least not until he dropped me off and asked for a goodnight kiss, which I granted. So overall it was a good date, we had a lot to talk about, I was very comfortable, and we enjoyed each others company. Now, before you get all excited I need to let you in on a small detail...he is totally insane.
Yep, he is insane, like really. I won't get into all of the details of his insanity because I don't want to scare you, but he is a very unique, interesting, opinionated kind of guy who firmly believes in certain truths such as the abstract: there is no truth, or feeling is not good, or belief is imagined, etc etc. I was having a hard time keeping up because although he is extremely articulate and intelligent, he talks a mile a minute (no he's not on drugs!) and his use of vocabulary requires either a dictionary or a nod and smile...I nodded and smiled, and occasionally rolled my eyes (which he found cute). So while I can probably say I don't agree with his philosophies on most things, I do appreciate that he at least thinks about things. And I do respect some of his other qualities like ambition, goals, direction, talent, and his taste in Me. And naturally, there are probably just as many qualities about him that I don't like...but again, I don't want to scare you :).
I think I generally have a pretty good read on people, and I think for the most part, he is probably a good guy with a lot of demons, and I think he kind of likes it that way. So as far as a future for Danny and I, it is unlikely.
Oh, and I forgot to mention, we're going out again on Saturday night!
Monday, May 17, 2010
Monday night, date night
Well I have done it, I have managed to come up with the perfect Monday night date outfit. This may be one of my first Monday dates, (with the exception of Big). Monday dates are of a different variety, and they are hard to dress for. Let's consider proper outfits for each day of the week.
Tuesday: Similar to a Monday, but a little bit lighter...usually a wine date which would call for a bright colored top w/ bootcut jeans and cute accessories (exactly why I don't go on Tuesday dates)
Wednesday: A little bit of a darker top, probably a little bit low cut, denim, again boot cut.
Thursday: Its almost Friday, a skirt is in order.
Friday: You may want to keep your skirt for Saturday night so you will opt for a skinny/straight leg jean, a loose top to be belted, this will create an interesting and flattering figure.
Saturday: All out tonight, proper date would go for a skirt or dress to show off the legs, and considering the season you may also opt for bare shoulders if appropriate, or sleeves...if you do sleeves make sure they are rolled up to 3/4 lengths to balance out legs...however, if you have tights then there are no rules.
Sunday: Sunday, the day of rest, but not a day to be lazy with wardrobe. Consider wearing something bright like a great wrap dress, if weather appropriate, this is the time to wear shorts with a loose cami and pair with a slightly longer cardigan.
MONDAY: As it turns out Monday is a slightly darker day, it is the first day of the week and from what I remember of my college days, is when all the alternative kids come out to play. Hence, clothing should be a bit darker, but still with a fashionable element (how else do you differentiate between you and them?).
My Monday date outfit: black skinny jeans, vintage Pink Floyd graphic t-shirt, a grey cashmere sweater for warmth, a vintage (okay 2003) grey blazer slightly boyfriend, a Club Monaco striped scarf, and my gladiator Marc Jacobs sandals. Perfect!
And, while I am at it, lets review no-no date outfits and general dont's.
-Capris (ankle pants are okay and can be very sexy)
-Khakis
-Velour anything
-Flared pants
-Glitter
-Square toes
-Hip belts
-Fringe (some exceptions) apply
I hope you all appreciate the little tips, and please, feel free to share your tips as well. Now excuse me, I have a date :)
Tuesday: Similar to a Monday, but a little bit lighter...usually a wine date which would call for a bright colored top w/ bootcut jeans and cute accessories (exactly why I don't go on Tuesday dates)
Wednesday: A little bit of a darker top, probably a little bit low cut, denim, again boot cut.
Thursday: Its almost Friday, a skirt is in order.
Friday: You may want to keep your skirt for Saturday night so you will opt for a skinny/straight leg jean, a loose top to be belted, this will create an interesting and flattering figure.
Saturday: All out tonight, proper date would go for a skirt or dress to show off the legs, and considering the season you may also opt for bare shoulders if appropriate, or sleeves...if you do sleeves make sure they are rolled up to 3/4 lengths to balance out legs...however, if you have tights then there are no rules.
Sunday: Sunday, the day of rest, but not a day to be lazy with wardrobe. Consider wearing something bright like a great wrap dress, if weather appropriate, this is the time to wear shorts with a loose cami and pair with a slightly longer cardigan.
MONDAY: As it turns out Monday is a slightly darker day, it is the first day of the week and from what I remember of my college days, is when all the alternative kids come out to play. Hence, clothing should be a bit darker, but still with a fashionable element (how else do you differentiate between you and them?).
My Monday date outfit: black skinny jeans, vintage Pink Floyd graphic t-shirt, a grey cashmere sweater for warmth, a vintage (okay 2003) grey blazer slightly boyfriend, a Club Monaco striped scarf, and my gladiator Marc Jacobs sandals. Perfect!
And, while I am at it, lets review no-no date outfits and general dont's.
-Capris (ankle pants are okay and can be very sexy)
-Khakis
-Velour anything
-Flared pants
-Glitter
-Square toes
-Hip belts
-Fringe (some exceptions) apply
I hope you all appreciate the little tips, and please, feel free to share your tips as well. Now excuse me, I have a date :)
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Single single and ready to mingle
Yikes, I am really behind in my updates for the month of May. It has been a very busy first part of May with two weeks of travelling back to back. I really like travelling as it keeps me busy and adds to my miles.
In other news a lot has happened that has left me with very little, 0 actually.
-CPA and I are officially over. According to him, no hard feelings, according to me, I think he is a lazy unambitious and unholy $#@$$$. But no hard feelings.
-I have blocked my Venezuelan from my feed on facebook. With our recent interactions I had re-developed feelings that were causing too much stress and jealousy so I need to cut him back out of my life.
-Big...Big is very absent. He is not calling me or returning my calls even though I said I needed him to. A blatant dismissal of my needs and feelings once again reinforce that he and I do not have a future. I have not spoken to him in over 2 weeks.
So there you go, I was running with 3 and now I am running with 0, and while I have always been "single" I have not been without for over five years. So, sigh, I am at 0, single single. Okay life, I have opened a lot of room for you to bring in new people, I'm ready!
Last night I went out for the first time in a long long time...like out out. My girlfriend and I hit up one of the popular neighborhoods and ended up meeting a lot of people and barhopping with them. It was really fun! At the end of the night I was approached by a guy who was a bit charming and a bit older (37). He actually called tonight and asked me on what I presume to be a date, for tomorrow night. I have to admit I am a little bit nervous :).
And, I have heard that the grocery store is a good place to meet people. Apparently, the man who picked me up in the grocery store line yesterday must have thought so. I was waiting patiently behind a guy buying a basket full of yogurt and jello cups in the what should have been quick lane. So, with ample time, the guy behind me dropped a casual comment and I indulged him in conversation. I need the practice on talking to strangers actually. So this guy was also older...I presume he is in his forties. He was tan, athletic, and had a bushy ponytail. He also works in stocks somehow. So after our quick conversation I (and why I cannot quite explain) gave over my business card.
Single single and ready to mingle!
In other news a lot has happened that has left me with very little, 0 actually.
-CPA and I are officially over. According to him, no hard feelings, according to me, I think he is a lazy unambitious and unholy $#@$$$. But no hard feelings.
-I have blocked my Venezuelan from my feed on facebook. With our recent interactions I had re-developed feelings that were causing too much stress and jealousy so I need to cut him back out of my life.
-Big...Big is very absent. He is not calling me or returning my calls even though I said I needed him to. A blatant dismissal of my needs and feelings once again reinforce that he and I do not have a future. I have not spoken to him in over 2 weeks.
So there you go, I was running with 3 and now I am running with 0, and while I have always been "single" I have not been without for over five years. So, sigh, I am at 0, single single. Okay life, I have opened a lot of room for you to bring in new people, I'm ready!
Last night I went out for the first time in a long long time...like out out. My girlfriend and I hit up one of the popular neighborhoods and ended up meeting a lot of people and barhopping with them. It was really fun! At the end of the night I was approached by a guy who was a bit charming and a bit older (37). He actually called tonight and asked me on what I presume to be a date, for tomorrow night. I have to admit I am a little bit nervous :).
And, I have heard that the grocery store is a good place to meet people. Apparently, the man who picked me up in the grocery store line yesterday must have thought so. I was waiting patiently behind a guy buying a basket full of yogurt and jello cups in the what should have been quick lane. So, with ample time, the guy behind me dropped a casual comment and I indulged him in conversation. I need the practice on talking to strangers actually. So this guy was also older...I presume he is in his forties. He was tan, athletic, and had a bushy ponytail. He also works in stocks somehow. So after our quick conversation I (and why I cannot quite explain) gave over my business card.
Single single and ready to mingle!
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Marry well
After a two month hiatus, I returned to the gym today where I burned what I consider to be a respectable 450 calories (not going to tell you how long that took me). No matter what anybody says, the gym has not grown in favor and I continue to despise every waking moment of exercising. The absolutely only type of exercise I really like is yoga, hopefully once my gym contract expires I can start to attend more classes.
Other than the gym and Borders, I have had a very dull weekend. I didn't make it to church...something about Sunday services that I really don't care for. I certainly need to make the effort of going more often in the future, but part of me probably feels a little anxious at the possibility of running into CPA...part of why FWB relationships work is because you generally don't have to run into them unless specifically arranged...chance meetings (like at volunteering last week) are awkward and slightly humiliating. I didn't make it to church, but I did watch at least watch an online message to get a good old dose of direction...today's topic: marry well. To be honest, it was not the life-changing a-ha message I was hoping for, but at least it reiterated certain key points.
1. Must be a friend
2. Take it slow
3. Have realistic expectations
These same principles continue to come up everywhere you look. A good partner is a friend. I really struggle with this one. As I have said before, I have not been able to maintain friendships with men, and instead I have always regarded the opposite sex as if they are or are not a possible match. Take it slow, I am equally bad at this. I hate taking things slow...as is evidence by my many first dates that have gone too far. And as for realistic expectations, um, I don't think I have ever quite gotten far enough to have any expectations...all of my relationships are free and clear of any expectation, and again, equally, this is a problem.
So what do I need to do to start the process of marrying well? It seems that I have to develop a friendship or at least an acquaintanceship with men with whom I have common interests. How to do this? I will argue that I have made several efforts at meeting new friends, all to no avail. And yes, I understand I need to continue these efforts and step up the frequency and consistency in which I engage in these efforts.
And with that, inspiration is gone for the night. If you have any wisdom or suggestions for this single Chi-girl please feel free to share :)
Other than the gym and Borders, I have had a very dull weekend. I didn't make it to church...something about Sunday services that I really don't care for. I certainly need to make the effort of going more often in the future, but part of me probably feels a little anxious at the possibility of running into CPA...part of why FWB relationships work is because you generally don't have to run into them unless specifically arranged...chance meetings (like at volunteering last week) are awkward and slightly humiliating. I didn't make it to church, but I did watch at least watch an online message to get a good old dose of direction...today's topic: marry well. To be honest, it was not the life-changing a-ha message I was hoping for, but at least it reiterated certain key points.
1. Must be a friend
2. Take it slow
3. Have realistic expectations
These same principles continue to come up everywhere you look. A good partner is a friend. I really struggle with this one. As I have said before, I have not been able to maintain friendships with men, and instead I have always regarded the opposite sex as if they are or are not a possible match. Take it slow, I am equally bad at this. I hate taking things slow...as is evidence by my many first dates that have gone too far. And as for realistic expectations, um, I don't think I have ever quite gotten far enough to have any expectations...all of my relationships are free and clear of any expectation, and again, equally, this is a problem.
So what do I need to do to start the process of marrying well? It seems that I have to develop a friendship or at least an acquaintanceship with men with whom I have common interests. How to do this? I will argue that I have made several efforts at meeting new friends, all to no avail. And yes, I understand I need to continue these efforts and step up the frequency and consistency in which I engage in these efforts.
And with that, inspiration is gone for the night. If you have any wisdom or suggestions for this single Chi-girl please feel free to share :)
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