Greetings!
Happy Sunday! I have enjoyed a very busy weekend, a very good weekend, in fact a great weekend. Such a good weekend that accidentally exposing my derriere (termed 'cheeks' by the sales lady) to all of Mag Mile courtesy of a sheer dress and just as sheer thong, couldn't get me down. Some may consider that to be embarrassing, but I am not some people, instead I remarked "oh, it fine, I'm not shy" and then my mom promptly paid for new pants. So perhaps inadvertent exposure was the highlight of my weekend. I'm certain it was at least the highlight for some...:) (sickos).
Other than new pants, some CB2 abuse resulting in a fab kitchen cart and a face mat, and devouring the best nachos on the planet, I attended a conference on mental illness. I sat through many seminars and workshops intended to identify, illustrate, articulate, dispel, inform, resolve, differentiate, explore, divulge, and any other word you can think of, the different areas of a certain (use your imagination) mental illness. While I attended the conference in a supportive role seeking out general information to enhance my awareness and understanding of said illness and its treatment options, I was surprised to find much of the information transferable to well, anyone and everyone.
My big take-aways and "ah-has" (I have a love/hate with this Oprah term) are too numerous to list, so instead I will highlight my favorite re-lessons. Okay, no, re-lesson is sure not a word, but i feel it best illustrates my point. So for the purposes of this widely-read blog post, re-lesson is a coined term I will use to describe a lesson that I consider to be of a general, common-sense variety. A lesson or an idea that we all know and suspect to be true, but fail to access and apply in our daily lives on an on-going basis. Meaning, we may believe these lessons and ideas to be true in theory, but due to our ego, our stubborness, (or in my case) laziness, we fail to apply them in our daily life. Get it? Not sure yet if I even know what I am talking about so let's keep going...
Re-lessons:
1. Don't try harder, try different. We all know the definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. I know this lesson best from my experience in dating...no need to explain that one ;)
2. Perfection is just an opinion!! I actually think I hold myself to a very low standard of perfection, perhaps the laziness in me, but I know that the idea of perfection is a relentless obsession for many people. The truth is, perfect is merely an opinion, and should not be a goal.
3. Should is a dirty word. Us ladies were introduced to this by a very introspective Carrie Bradshaw. "Why are we shoulding all over ourselves?" As is perfect, should is just an opinion. We should, I should, you should, are all statements of opinion. That choice of word implies that in some way we are failing or we have done something wrong. Ick. Instead of using the word should (and no cheating with the words ought, must), we should (oops!) our goal is to use words and phrases like, would like to, and wish to...
4. Control is an illusion. Now, I can't think of anyone I know that has control issues. Certainly not me. Oh, wait, yes me. And you too. We all suffer occasionally from control impulses and they often manifest themselves through worry and anxiety. For example, I can't improve my finances by waking up in the middle of the night and worrying about them. And yet I do. And so do you. But, our ability to control things through worry and anxiety is an illusion - exhausting mental energy and experiencing mental anguish do not solve or resolve these issues.
5. Its okay to be uncomfortable in the short term in order to be comfortable in the long-run. Duh, yes. But for me, my choices are always influenced and ultimately determined by short term comfort. I am always making choices that affect the short-term seeking instant gratification, rather than make the best choice with the long-term viewpoint. This is evident in my finances and in my refrigerator. Don't look in there!
6. We are awful to ourselves but awesome to others. We have all asked ourselves this question at one point. "Why can I give such great advice to my best friend, but not do the same for myself?" And why do we motivate others with kind words and encouraging smiles, but motivate ourselves by cutting ourselves down? Why are we so hard on ourselves? Why do we treat ourselves so awful? We in many ways can be our own worst enemies. We must learn to focus on being awesome to ourselves, we deserve that much because we are awesome!
And my most important re-lesson:
7. Hope. It can feel good to give up. It can feel good to just accept things as they are. It can feel good to be cynical and to be negative. It can feel good to mourn and wallow. It can feel good to let hope go. But that is a sad way to live and it is not sustainable. Permanently adopting that negative viewpoint can only lead to more problems. At one time or another, I think we have all been guilty of "giving up" in ourselves or in others. For example, I have given up in the possibility that I will get married. A it dramatic for a girl under 30. A bit silly to turn my back on hope in that case. But some issues are so big and so mentally and physically debilitating that it becomes difficult to imagine improvement or recovery. But, the only way to recovery or success, big or small, is through hope. You, We, I need to have hope that things can improve, or they won't. We need to have hope for ourselves, and hope for others.
So there you have it. My re-lessons and divine wisdom passed along for the good of the world. I hope so at least :).
Cheers, xoxo
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