And so it goes

And so it goes. My happy momentum has started to hit a wall and has in turn, turned down-hill. Hopefully this is just a fluke and the next week will feel better, which it should as I get to see the two loves of my life, my niece and nephew :). Happy thoughts.

Honestly, I have not felt quite right since Monday's swimtime. Courtesy of that damn intuition I knew that night that I wasn't Ms Right for Mr Perfect. For some reason I just feel very disappointed about this, not necessarily about him per se, but about yet another guy not working out. Why is it so hard? On top of that, Vegas has not called all week and its probably because I imposed that strict hands off policy...I guess you are damned if you do, damned if you do a little, and damned if you don't at all, I've done all three and at least I can argue that one isn't worse than the other any longer. No no Jordan no Vegas, am I back to one?

Being back to one isn't the worst thing in the world, after all, as the universe has proven, once you make room in your life then that allows room for others to enter, so crossing my fingers. I think what I am starting to really notice and feel sad about is my Chi-BFFs absence, she is gone and so is part of my spirit. I miss her, and instead of being able to fill my time talking, sharing, laughing, analyzing, empathizing, supporting, cheering, and celebrating with her, I am back to doing that alone, and have some how found these guys to serve as a distraction from, not an answer to, that void. Now Darling Chimate, don't feel sad reading this, I only bring it up to show that its not the void of the 2 missing men I need to worry about filling, its the void of my chimate that I need to fill, I need a girlfriend. I guess I need to take a time machine back to January and restart my self-exploration process and find my new interests, and in new interests hopefully I can find a new friend. XOXO.