It is true, twenty nine is fantastic! And I am more fantastic at 29 than I was at 28. For example, I have a better job at 29 than I did at 28. I make more money at 29 than I did at 28. I am managing my finances better at 29 than I did at 28. I am exercising more at 29 than I did at 28. I am drinking less at 29 than I did at 28. I am eating better at 29 than I did at 28. I am reading more and learning more at 29 than I did at 28. And (but) (no and) I am more single at 29 than I was at 28. And what's really interesting is that all of these changes are a chain reaction of one another. All things considered, I have made a lot fantastic progress for being only 27 days in.
In my heart of hearts I knew that a new job would be the catalyst for the change in the next phase in my life. And I was right. It was after the worst (okay 2nd worst) interview of my life that I saw the job posting for my present position. It had me at seeking. If ever there was a position that I was qualified for or a more natural fit for than it was this position. And my future employers felt the same way and after just one pleasant interview, they changed my life.
Here's the great thing about getting a new job that pays more money that only pays once a month; only being paid once a month makes it much easier to allocate (I hate the word budget) money. This in turn has allowed me to invest in a yoga membership!
By participating in yoga classes 5 days a week, I have much less time and desire for wine. Rather than keep company in pinot I keep company in Shavasana. And perhaps because spirit is intricately linked to body, I have become more aware of what I actually put into my body - I have started to cook (not my first lesson in never say never by the way). It turns out that cooking is also a cure for boredom.
I have to give myself quite a bit of credit here. I have always been con veggies - I would order veggie noodle dishes sans veggies, pick out each veggie obstruction from my mom's homemade meals, and scrutinize each and every bite for signs of onion. While I am still very anti-onion, I have made a huge effort to start eating and cooking veggies. So far, I have learned to prepare pasta with pesto, fresh mozzarella and tomato, two different tofu stir fry's with snow peas, orange and yellow peppers, zucchini, and cilantro, and my favorite, baked, marinated tofu. And my toughest critic actually paid me a compliment on my stir fry saying that it was very good, but that I probably had "beginners luck". Hey, I'll take that!
Linked to spirit and body is of course, mind. And while learning/thinking/analyzing/questioning/challenging may never come easy or natural or interesting to me, I am making an effort to try and enrich my mind. (Life outside self help books). NPR, CNN, and WIKI and I are now well acquainted. I am trying to learn not just how to read or listen to stories, but how to retain them, hence the book on memory I just finished. And understanding anything about this world means you need to know something about the past. Poe and Washington Irving at the moment and next up: Plato's "the Republic". Who knows, maybe at some point I will actually be able to have an intelligent conversation...
And I have to believe that part of learning to question and challenge has resulted in my present singledom. That big question: All things considered, how is it possible Big and I can make a relationship work and still be happy? We can't. I know Big and I cannot be together and be happy. And why this has been a hard conclusion to reach is because it won't be for lack of trying and it certainly won't be for lack of love. I meant it when I said that I was in love. I am. I am in love with Big, and he is in love with me too, but that doesn't mean that he and I can make a relationship work. As much as we love each other, neither he nor I can change who we are for a relationship. It would cost us too much. So single? Yes. Single and proud? Yes.
So here I am, 29 and fantastic!
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