"You belong to me." That is the what Mr Paul Varjack tells Ms Holly Golightly in "Breakfast at Tiffany's" one of my all time favorite movies. In this delicious film, Holly is a girl trying to get by on the generosity of rich men, but don't get me wrong, she does not at any point engage in lewd acts to smitten these men. Instead, she is a "real phony", she uses her charming personality to attract men in order to save money and earn a better life for her and her brother. Mr Paul Varjack gets by by way of his "decorator", and all is well until he falls in love with Holly. Can't blame him really, I fell in love with Holly. She is my female crush (in addition to SJP and Jen An), she is exceptional. But the climax of the movie comes and he says to a reluctant Audrey, "I'm in love with you, you belong to me and I belong to you". Unfortunately, my current circumstance allows me time to ponder such statements on a Saturday night and I do question, if you fall in love with someone, do you belong to them?
One definition of belonging states that belonging is an acceptance as a natural member or part of. Belonging as being a part of... I would say that if you love someone, you are a part of them or are working toward being a part of them. Naturally. The danger comes in if you are a part of them, are you still honoring yourself first?
I would say that relationships stipulate that you are in fact a part of the other person, your union would dictate such, ergo, 2 people in love do belong to each other. The trouble is that love doesn't conquer all. While Ms Golightly was in love, she was not willing to belong to anyone until she realized that belonging to someone was the only way to experience true happiness.
A friend of mine has always professed that you may never fall out of love until you fall in love with someone else. If that were true, then you always belong to someone else until you belong to someone new. In my life I have only ever been in love with one person Big, and in every way imaginable, and irritatingly, I have belonged to him. I have belonged to Big for a long time and although he and I do not at present have any contact nor will we ever have a future, I still belong to him in many ways. The thing is, I might belong to him, but he has never belonged to me. My search for Mr Right therefore extends past a desire to just fall in love, it extends to a search of a feeling of belonging. I want to belong to someone else, and I want them to belong to me.
Now, if you'll excuse me, my cinema adventure extends into the Graduate. Maybe, just maybe all future young men will belong to me, Mrs Robinson.
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