The plot thickens

And just when I thought everything was going very well and I was coming to terms with and even accepting the kind of guy society deems I should settle and be in a paper relationship with, I meet the perfect guy. Perfect as in he meets all of the initial qualities that I would look for in a guy and his lifestyle is exactly what I would like for mine to be. He is my aspirational man, the man I aspire to be with on every level, but the type of man that I have always been too afraid of failing to attract. Wow, he is my list guy, in person. Now I guess I really should be excited about this new list man, after all, he brings my count back up to 3, however I am a bit more realistic than that. You see, liking someone, a lot more often than not, leads to heartache.

I met this perfect guy at my chi-mate's going away dinner. We had just walked into a very chic rooftop bar and I met who we'll call Jordan. We started talking and offered to buy me a drink. He was attractive and personable. My friend and her friends then decided to leave and I was left in the hands of this perfect man. He was even having a little drama himself that night which I somehow helped diffuse. I ended up spending the night platonically, well cuddly anyway (old habits). In the light of day he was extremely attractive, well-educated, had a great job, great furniture, great view of the city, and most importantly he is one of the nicest and most considerate guys I have ever met. And I am not even talking about the way he treated me...his friends were visiting and the way he interacted with them was entirely charming. He cooked breakfast and invited me to stay and hang out...and the odd thing is that I actually agreed. Me in my silk tank and printed short skirt, ratty (seriously ratty) hair, and last night's leftover make-up, actually spent the day. Now I have absolutely no idea why he would have wanted to see me again after I spent the day looking like a hung-over hooker, but he did and he invited me to a party w/ his in-town friends that night. I redeemed myself in my sexiest LBD and we had a great night. He made several comments about hanging out again, but I am going to play it safe and wait and see. He seems like such a great guy, very smooth temperament, very happy, very low-key, a bit endearing...a really good catch! Either way, I am one lucky lady to had an entirely perfect weekend!

Now, I am glad to have met my perfect guy, but I am also a bit disappointed as to what this means for Danny and Vegas. Now that I know that there are guys out there who represent the life I want, do I still need to settle? After spending more time w/ Danny I realize that I might like him, but I only like him because he is fun to hang out with and very interesting...I fear I do not have any actual feelings for him. And with Vegas, the paper man, I feel disappointed. I like hanging out with Vegas, he is fun, he is considerate, he is easy going, but once again, I do not feel like I have the right kind of feelings for him. I want to feel excited and physically attracted to someone! I don't want to settle for not having those feelings just because someone is there and available.

This has all gotten so complicated, but I will say that I am having so much fun doing things and going on dates. It is getting a bit ridiculous though as I am having to double book nights, and avoid answering the "who did you do that with" question. I am turning into a man, a very well-intentioned one at least!