A smiling single girl

Alright you anxious readers you, here is the update in the fabulous life of one single Chi-girl. I have had a fantastic week albeit incredibly busy with work. The highlight: Wednesday afternoon when my crush, Jordan, texted me to say hi and that we should talk next week (you see, I was out of town for a few days and he is now out of town for a few days so he was planning ahead...:)). I have had a smile on my face ever since, and I am even smiling right now :). And I can't stop smiling because I really like this guy, like really :) :). I don't want to say too much or get too excited because I am a little afraid of liking someone who is not paper. The reason being is that it was one thing to get rejected by a guy who is paper, and a completely different thing to be rejected by a guy you really like. Both rejections suck but in different ways. Rejection by paper guys is annoying and avoiding rejection turns the whole relationship into a kind of cat and mouse game. A rejection by a "perfect" guy is incredibly disappointing, it results in a bit of a blow to the ego, and it spirals one into the always present question from hell, "do I really need to just settle for Mr Good Enough, Mr Paper?".

And, I spent the night last night with Vegas. We went out to my favorite blue margarita bar in my hood and then to a few other places. I invited him to stay the night but with one rule: hands off! I am so so mean. I guess the thing about me is that I need to feel very attracted to someone to want to engage in relations and I am just not there yet with Vegas. He is a great guy--very nice, very very positive and happy, attractive, considerate, generous, gentlemanly, employed, talks on the phone, easy going, even a good kisser, etc, etc, etc, etc. You can pretty much put a check mark next to every box you have on your list, he's great. And, I think he even likes me. But something is missing for me--possibly that X-factor or the good ole chemistry. I guess what I am trying to figure out is, even if this paper man is great!, available, and into me, does that mean that he is the right guy for me? At what point do you sacrifice the zsa zsa zsu and accept good enough? Darlings, this is to be determined as I do like Vegas and I do intend to keep seeing him.

I have not seen Danny in about a week but I have talked to him almost every day. I have come to regard Danny as someone who I just like knowing. For example, I can call him anytime for anything and he will talk...I called him from the airport yesterday and he gave me a full weather report and reasons why my plane was delayed. He is so multi-dimensional and intelligent that sometimes I just like listening to him ramble. And, he likes me. He is boosting my self esteem and confidence because he is so open with his feelings about me...like compliments. Now receiving compliments from guys I like happens very rarely...Vegas has yet to compliment me with a "you look nice", Big did sporadically, CPA NEVER did, and cute Jordan gave me a "you look fine" (understandable considering I was that aforementioned hungover hooker) and Jordan also commented how very sexy I looked in my very LBD. Danny is the only guy (okay outside of my stalker) who constantly gives me compliments, and ladies, although we are often too prideful to admit this, we need to hear why we are special. We need it. And apparently he needs it too as he keeps saying how he absolutely cannot figure out if I like him or not. This is due to the fact that I have also implemented a hands mostly off policy toward him as well. I expect to see Danny tomorrow we'll see what happens.

And Big. Yes Big is back in town (well only metaphorically), he has been really good about calling, like on a weekly basis. He must be able to sense my emotional distance as yesterday he was laying the always endearing baby and I miss yous on kind of thick. I love Big, I will always love Big, but I feel very past him. When I gave up my "3" I gave up my 3.

I am one busy, smiling single girl. XOXO.