a changed woman

Hello Readers!

Welcome back to myself! Sorry for my hiatus--it seemed that my will to write had suffered from this thing called "happiness" --my days of writing poetry inspired by feelings of a poor tortured single girl are over. Happy girls can be clever and witty right? I promise not to go too happy or "Pollyanna" on you readers, I am happy but I still have my pride.

Well, there is no point in trying to catch you up on two months of stuff that would fit nicely into Pandora's Box, instead I will just summarize by saying the more things change, the more things change. Let me write that again (pay attention to the drama): the more things change, the more things change.

I have always been a believer in the more commonly used phrase: the more things change the more they stay the same. I had 27 years of living proof that while things "changed" nothing changed. Although my life ventured 400 miles east, nothing was really different. I still was semi-in-love with the same guy, I had the same thinkless job, I had the same social friends, I watched the same episodes of Law & Order, I felt the same feelings of self-doubt and resentment, I ate the same cheese and drank the same Purple Moon, I had the same bad habits, I had the same spending habits, and I had the same desire to just sit and watch/wait for my life to happen. I had 27 years of experience allowing myself to indulge in selfish and lazy attitudes and beliefs such as: I don't know how to write a resume so I can't get a new job, I don't know how to attract that perfect man so I will settle for any man, I don't know how to ask for what I want so I will accept what I get, I don't know how to manage my money so I will just keep spending, I don't know how to make small talk so I will avoid people, and the list goes on. I was under the the comfortable spell of I don't know how, therefore I can't. Translation: I would rather not try, I would rather do nothing.

Now part of me still feels that way, I would rather not try, I would rather do nothing, but here's what: I am no longer a girl who only has 27 years of not doing, I am a 28 year old woman who is doing.

I would certainly love to credit all of this change to myself, and I do owe some to the magic age of 28 (I certainly owe my newly sprouted cleavage to 28) but truly I attribute a lot of these changes to Danny. Yes, Danny and I are still in our loverationship--he likes to point out how he is practically my longest relationship ever. Sure, after my next longest relationship (as a masochist) with Big, I suppose he is.

I feel that any description I were to offer of Danny now would be somehow be misleading, shocking, confusing, and it would be completely off-base. Although I have offered some explanation of him in the past, now knowing him better I feel that I can not even begin to describe him in a way that would do him any kind of justice. Just know this, in just a few months he has had more of a dramatic impact on my life in a positive way than any one single person I have ever known. He has changed me.

Stay tuned ;)