Twenty eight is fantastic.

Twenty eight is fantastic. This is surprising to me as I assumed turning 28 (do you know that makes me more than 10,220 days old!?) would be horrible, awful, painful, depressing, meaningless, and inconsequential. However, I could not have been more wrong. 21 days into age 28 and I feel really good and I feel really different.

For me, the 3 biggest changes I have experienced since becoming 28 are:
-cleavage and overall breast enlargement, seriously its sick
-lack of concern with appearance
-the blinders come off and a sense of reality comes in

1. Cleavage. At first I thought it was just the bra, but then other people started to notice my enhancement. Its not that I gained a cup size or anything, it is more so that my breasts have gotten fuller and more apparent. I have cleavage for the first time in my life and its fantastic! My breasts are fantastic (ok that was a SATC Samantha quote). FYI this also happened to a very good friend of mine who suddenly as a 32B sometimes C was suddenly unintentionally leading with her breasts. As my friend San would say, "put those away"!

2. Lack of concern with appearance. This may have actually set in during the summer when I suddenly just stopped styling my hair before work. I went from curling every section meticulously, to a quick blow out, add a change in part, and off I go. I haven't worn eye-liner in I can't tell you how long, and I often wear the same outfits twice in one week. I have let myself go.

Let me give you an example of how low I have gone...last week I was in town visiting family, friends, and Big. Big invited me to spend the week with him and I did...more on this in a minute. Now, I have always made sure I looked exactly perfect when around him, and if I ever spent the night I would be sure it was in something slightly sexy. After not seeing him in over 3 months, you would think I would put on little more than my birthday suit to greet him. Instead, I wore sweatpants and my Mom's MN sweatshirt. And, things didn't improve over the week where each night I would get ready for bed as if I would be sleeping outdoors at the top of Everest. Now, that he loves me anyway is surely something. My dear friend also said that this is just a stage and that at the age of 30 you suddenly snap out of it. Please God, let this stage be over, I miss feeling pretty.

3. The blinders come off, reality sets in. This is somewhat self-explanatory as I have already explained how this has happened with my job: if I want a certain lifestyle I need to make it happen, I can't wait for it to happen to me.

Also, this has happened with Big. It was a Monday night when I first knew for sure that I could not possibly get back together with Big. He has been asking for a few months now for us to get back together and for me to be his girlfriend, and I have hesitated. That Monday night, sitting next to him in his place he shares with another guy, I knew. I can't get back together with Big, he and I are in two totally different places. His lifestyle resembles that of a frat guy or worse, that of a loser. His financial state is always in ruins and he has not quite figured out what it takes to get a grown up job. I have always known this about him, but my blinders have allowed me to look past these shortcomings. Well, I can't do that anymore, I am 28. So I told him as much. He was disappointed but he has taken it remarkably well. The thing is that he knew and expected this. He needs to be a better and more successful man in order to be with me, and he truly wants to be that man. If he figures it out, then great, he has a shot with me. If not, then I need to find someone else. Either way, I am not waiting to find out. I am choosing to live my life and go after what I want without regard for how it will affect other people. Meaning, I am sorry if it will hurt his feelings if I find someone new, but I need to live my life for me, not for him.

Next up, 30 years old and conversations revolving only around slow metabolism and anti-wrinkle cream. I better enjoy the next 709 days!