Apparently, there are 5 signs of compatibility that you must have with your partner before you marry them.
1. Spiritual-same type of faith
2. Character-are they a good person?
3. Emotional- peel back the layers
4. Communication-ability to communicate and listen to each other
5. Attractiveness-physical and sexual attraction
Today I am going to compare the relatively consistent 3 most recent men in my life to this list of compatibility traits. My goal is to make myself feel relieved that I am not in a relationship with, nor married to the following men...To be easy lets name them Big, Skipper, and Alexandre+McFadden (the Russian + Carrie's Fuck Buddy) (yes, all references to SATC).
Starting w/ Big.
1. NO Although Big is an Irish Catholic he does not exhibit any spiritual tendencies or faith-based decisions. He views marriage as sacred to the church and would be opposed to divorce. Ironically, that is the one and only church based rule he would follow, and he seems to be pro adultery.
2. NO Character--Do I really need to bother with this one? Big is a guy who gets into fights at the W, nuff said.
3. YES AND NO Big is very open about his past, childhood, hopes, dreams, etc. It is actually me that is not open at all about certain layers to me. At the same point, I do not feel asked to share and therefor I do not feel comfortable doing so.
4. YES AND NO We can communicate in the daily conversation and have a jolly ole time. We cannot however communicate at all about "us". It used to be that I was so afraid of losing Big that I never could say what I felt. If I did say something, then everything I said was turned around and manipulated. In the last few years it has been just easier to say nothing.
5. YES Yes, there is a strong, powerful amount of attraction--I just can't explain it.
2.0 out of 5 is NOT A COMPATIBLE MATCH
Skipper-(You remember Skipper from SE 1. He was IN LOVE W/ Miranda but she truly was not interested--save for a few occasions where he did something surprising like blow her off.) Yep, I have that guy.
1. MAYBE He does seem to exhibit a certain peace about him that I have to believe exists in spiritual people. There is a good chance we would be a match however we have never actually talked about faith.
2. YES AND A LITTLE NO He has a good character and is generally a good person with a good heart. He really cares about people, maybe a little too much. A little "no" is that he does not seem to be a man of his word, he has very little follow through on his promises.
3. YES and NO I do know about his life, his childhood, his family...he does not know mine, again, this is probably because I don't share very much.
4. NO I hate to be harsh, but Skipper is like talking to a wall, if I do share something about me whether it be personal or just plain chit chat, he is unable to "get-it-up" in regards to conversation. It is terribly boring and frustrating.
5. NO Not even a little, but he does dress well.
1.5 out of 5 NOT A COMPATIBLE MATCH
Alexandre McFadden (My Latin lover).
1. NO Spiritual- he is very Buddhist and organic. Not me.
2. YES Very charming, sensitive, good humored, kind, etc. Maybe not the best follow through at 3:00am but you know...
3. NO Seems to be a lack of interest in this area.
4. YES We have the easiest and most fun conversation. If I really felt the need, I could actually tell him how I felt w/o fear.
5. YES, YES, YES Hot sexy foreign man with a charming accent, need I say more?
Wow, 3 our of 5! NOT A COMPATIBLE MATCH
So there you have it. Not one of my past 3 relationships-of-sorts, would have qualified for marriage. I know, no surprises.
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