Just say yes?

It seems that as my life has gotten busier, I have so much less to say--go figure. Let's see, in a one run on paragraph update, here is what's happening:

Danny and I stayed in on Sunday night where he protected my computer from all the bad in the world and tomorrow we have plans to go grocery shopping...wow, we are so domestic! Big is en route to Minne. Jordan is still en Europe. My stalker has agreed to pay for my plane ticket and two night hotel stay in NYC to visit him at the end of August. And last, My Venezuelan is coming to Chi for the weekend and staying chez moi.

Although it may seem like there are too many men in my playground, the truth is that I have been 100% honest with Danny, Big and my Stalker--they know where they stand and what my position is. Now, with Jordan and Venezuela, well, Jordan and I are not there yet, and Venezuela is pure recreation. When I do become serious with someone then I will gladly refrain from recreational hot men.

And I am still excited about Danny. Ironically, considering he is the most non-traditional man in every sense, he and I are in what I would consider to be the most "traditional" relationship that I have ever been in. It is really wonderful, and it is also very sad that I have never had that stability in the past. Danny is the first person outside of my dear old Dad, who has wanted to protect me--Danny tries to protect me in every way from making sure I lock my door properly, to checking my oil, to securing my computer, to teaching me how to cook healthy foods, to teaching me finance, to walking on the outside on the sidewalk, to never ever trying to take advantage of me or pressure me in any way. I consider myself to be extremely independent (although not by choice), but I have to say that I really appreciate his concern for my welfare...he cares. Which is why its kind of sad that he cares, but the fact will always remain that I could be anybody--it not so much me as it is that he and I are seeing each other--its really too hard to explain. I will continue to enjoy and keep my eyes open and doors locked!

And I have to admit that this NYC thing is bothering me. Since I met my Stalker 4 years ago he has made promise after promise after promise of things he would do for me. It started with a Gucci watch and then went to a Gucci watch encrusted with diamonds, and then to tires for my car, and then to tickets to NYC, and then a visit to Chi, etc, etc. The fact is that he has never followed through on anything, ever. Here's the thing, I am not the type of person who accepts generosities from men...I am the girl who if you buy me a drink at the bar, I will pay for the next round. I have never once accepted gifts from Stalker or really any other man. But the thing about it is that I am tired of Stalker's teasing. He needs to stop saying this stuff because it gets my hopes up and that is not fair to me. I am not trying to take advantage of him, he knows that, so why the tease?

So this last time I had had enough in a way. Okay, you want to pay for me to fly out to NYC, you're on, this is when I am coming. He said okay, said he would send me the money, said he would even stay with a friend instead of share my hotel. So, we are all set right? Well, I thought I could go through with it, but then as I clarified for the 100th time, this is platonic, don't expect anything to change. He said okay that's fine, but then he asked "why do you want to come?". And there my inability to accept gifts where I will feel indebted reared its ugly head. What are my intentions and can I honestly say they are with merit and integrity, I don't know.

Here is why I think I want to go to NYC. I want to go to NYC, I want to get out of Chicago, I have no money to do either, I want to see Stalker (even if it meant he came here, I would want to see him). But are those reasons enough to accept his generosity of what would amount to close to $600? I know he can afford it, and you know, maybe this time I just need to say yes. Darling readers, what do you think?

(And sorry for my less than stellar writing tonight--its that damn writer's block. Also possibly a symptom that I am happy and not such a tortured-single soul, at the moment anyway.)