Can't hardly wait.

I just got back from my financial class at the church and it was great! I can't believe I am about to say this, but I can't wait to make a budget! I do believe that like in all things, you have to be ready for change. Yes, yes, yes, I have dabbled at budgeting before, I have read some books, I have tried tracking spending and doing quick anaylsis, etc, etc, but it has never worked, and I am convinced it has never worked because I have never been fully committed to the change and accountability budgeting would require. It all goes back to the fear and the doubt...the fear that I will lose and sacrifice my lifestyle, the fear that I won't be able to stick to it, the fear of actually coming face to face with my financial reality, and so on. I feel the doubt creep in when I consider whether or not I will actually be able to pay off the debt and whether or not I can stick to a plan. I have led an all encompassing life of fear. I am once again facing my fears and inviting change in my spending, I am ready.

In SATC when Carrie breaks up with Aidan and has to buy her apartment, she goes to the bank where they tell her she is "undesireable" as a candidate for a loan...she later tells Big that she is worth nothing...naturally he tells her that she is worth a million bucks. This whole transition period in my life is essentially digging me out of a financial and emotional hole where I feel myself to be worth nothing, and getting me to a place where I feel like a million bucks...a billion actually. This is really really exciting, and I can't hardly wait!