Suddenly I am feeling like I am good at Chicago...save for the fact that I did get slightly lost on my way to Spanish class last night. Much to my dismay, I did find the place eventually and managed to attend my class. I was one of two people. The other attendee was a girl around my age who knew absolutely no Spanish whatsoever...strange for an "intermediate" class. Although the class is a disappointment, and I suspect my native Spanish speaking teacher is ill-qualified (she had to look up vocabulary conjunctions!), I did enjoy completing the Spanish exercises. It is amazing how much I have actually retained considering that I have not used my Spanish in nearly 7 years. Que suprisa!
Tonight I attended my first financial budgeting/debt reduction class. Tonight's class only served to reiterate things I already know but completely ignore, the importance of your FICO score, the snowball debt reduction method, the need for budgeting, and value for paying in cash money. Two more classes to go and I will hopefully come out of it with a completed debt reduction plan and a feasible monthly budget...oh boy, things are about to change...what will my entertainment be if I can't go to Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, and Jewel every week? What will I do with my spare time?
Actually, in the pending two months I do not plan on having as much free time. I have two more weeks of Spanish and Budgeting, 1 week of book club, 2 weeks of travel, and in the future, I will have 5 weeks of volleyball. Yes, I broke down, bit the bullet, and joined a volleyball team, possibly two. The first one I am officially committed to plays Tuesday nights in April. The second one will possibly play Friday nights. Noticeably missing from my booked calendar is my Hub meetings. The reality is that I did not really like many of the other hub attendee girls, and I really don't feel like being around CPA. Truthfully, I feel disappointed with his lack of pursuing me past FWBs and I would much rather avoid dealing with his lack of integrity in person. We will see what the next few weeks bring, but there is a Wed night Hub at a different location that I will possibly check out.
Speaking of the FWB, I am kind of willing to accept the responsibility that I may be partially to blame. I question why every man I try to be friends with turns into an FWB, but the reality is that I let it happen. I obviously know what my intentions and goals are, however, I would never say them out loud...as you recall, I call this holding onto my cards to keep him from completely folding altogether. I guess I have felt that it is better to have a little bit of attention sporadically than none at all...in theory that may be true, but in action it leaves me feeling rejected and worthless. I am not worthless, remember? There is no reason that I should feel bad about myself over a guy who is just looking to get play. As my LC said last week, we need to train the world how to treat us. As it turns out, I have been training the world that it is okay to only call me and give me attention when you need to get some, it is okay for you to lead me on with false hope to keep me on the "hook" (did anyone happen to see How I met your mother last night?), and that it is okay to not ask me out on dates. None of that is okay with me contrary to how I may have acted in the past. In the spirit of the new, this new Chi-girl is going to do her best to train the world how they are to treat her, and that starts with the CPA...if I ever do speak to him again, I will be committed to telling him how I feel and hopefully that piece of truth will show my integrity, and his lack there of.
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